Confessions
by Mikan-citrus fruits
Summary: A spatula,a vase, a yaoi obsessed chara,David Bowie, and Tadase's real gender. What do all of these have in common? Read on to find out. Rated T for pervyness and swearing. Kind of a crackfic. Lol


**So this is what happens when you get one hour of sleep, load up on Monsters and ask yourself about characters with a questionable gender.  
Lol, this is kind of a crakfic. Haha. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Shugo Chara, Labyrinth, David Bowie, Harry Potter, Skip Beat!, Junjou Romantica, Invader Zim, Death Note, Paris, Too Sexy (Y'know, the song) or Spatulas (Well I do have a spatula, but I don't own the rights to spatulas) I also don't own any characters. Phew, that's a lot of disclaimage.  
**

* * *

"Amu-chaaaaan! Wake up!" Four small voices chorused.

"Grgh, but it's Saturday!" Amu squirmed lower into her blanket to block out the light coming from her window.

"But Amu-chan, today's the guardian reunion meeting-desu" Suu pointed out

"Yeah, you finally get to see everyone again." Miki added.

"Fine, what time is it?" Amu rolled over and looked at her alarm clock. "Twelve-thirty?!" She shrieked. "I only have half an hour!"

"We tried waking you up, but you were up all night reading manga and painting your nails." Dia snickered, then burst out in fits of laughter as she remembered that night. "You should have seen your face when we replaced Skip Beat! with Junjou Romantica!" She was rolling around in the air, trying to catch her breath. Amu shivered and felt the sudden urge to bang her head against a wall.

"If you _ever _do that again, I will flush you down a toilet. That's not a threat, it's a promise." She shivered again. They had switched her manga with yaoi three times that week. At least it wasn't the video again. "Where are you guys getting all this yaoi anyway? You know what, never mind. I really don't want to hear about your secret fetishes." She glanced at the clock and noticed she had spent five minutes thinking about-shudders- yaoi. She leapt off the bed and began changing in record time.

"Go! Go! Amu-chan! You can make it!" Ran cheered, waving her little pom-poms in Amu's face. Miki was fixing Amu's out of control hair while Suu made toast and eggs downstairs. Dia was still rolling around in the air with tears in her eyes, so she wasn't any help. Fifteen minutes later, Amu was rushing out the door with toast in her mouth, charas close behind.

"Ran!" She shouted

"Right! Hop, step, jump!" There were little pink wing accessories on Amu's wrist and ankles, allowing her to sprint at the speed of light- okay, maybe the speed of a car, but who's keeping track?

A few minutes later, she burst through the doors of the royal garden out of breath.

"I'm here!" She said weakly.

"Pay up, losers!" Rima laughed as everyone else grumbled, bulling money out of their pockets.

"What did you bet on this time?" Amu asked, rolling her eyes. They made bets on stupid things at least twice a day.

"When Amu-chi would get here." Yaya shouted.

"I bet you would get here exactly one minute before meeting time. I know you stay up all Friday reading yaoi, so you sleep in on Saturdays." Rima said nonchalantly, but she was clearly suppressing a laugh.

"I don't read yaoi! Well, at least not willingly!" Amu defended.

"Amu, we all know you're a pervert and a yaoi-loving otaku, you don't need to hide it, we're all friends here." Kairi said with a hand on her shoulder. Dia figured this would be a good time to character change.

"Yes, I love yaoi! My favorite part is when they *censored* and then you see their *censored* ooh, and when they get to *censored* It's absolutely *censored*" Everybody's jaws dropped as they stared in a mixture of shock, disgust, embarrassment and, in Yaya's case, fascination.

"I guess I came in at the wrong time." a voice commented from the doorway.

"Kukai! My poor innocent mind has just been violated!" Tadase cried and threw himself into Kukai's arms. Kukai rubbed his friends back comfortingly.

"Amu, what in the world was that outburst about?" Kukai asked exasperatedly.

"It was Dia again. Ever since she hatched, everything I own is turning yaoi related. She switches the manga I'm reading when I'm not looking, and I've put DVDs of my favorite animes in and they… they…" Amu froze up and started twitching. "Scary" She squeaked.

"Don't worry Amu-chan, they big bad yaoi monster isn't going to get you" Nagihiko pulled Amu close and stroked her hair.

"B-but, it's like brain rape! Dia's a brain rapist!" She sobbed. A few people around the garden let out small giggles, but it was soon replaced by roaring laughter. Everybody-charas included- was laughing at Amu's outburst.

"Aw, I thought raping Amu was my job." a velvety voice teased from the back of the crowd.

"TSUKIYOMI IKUTO!" Tadase shouted, pointing at Ikuto, who was standing next to Utau.

"Onee-sama!" Rima shouted and leapt on Utau. She had developed a crush on the pop star a few months ago and made a point to assault her whenever she was within a ten foot radius. Of course, Utau was used to it by now and accepted it as part of their undefined relationship.

"Tsk Tsk kiddy king. You invited me here and that _still _happens. Is it some kid of catchphrase now?" He smirked. Tadase blushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry, it's a habit." he muttered.

"Whatever. So what did you want to talk to us about? Finally coming out of the closet?" Ikuto asked somewhat impatiently.

"Something like that." Tadase replied. Jaws literally dropped again. "actually, Fujisaki-san also has something to say to you." Jaws dropped lower, if that was even possible. Nagihiko finally let go of Amu and walked to the front, facing the crowd. '_Oh no, what if Nagihiko__ and Tadase are gay for each other? Ugh, that brings us right back to the yaoi thing." _Amu thought, a little queasy and sad.

"Okay, so I guess I'll go first." Tadase said nervously. "I-I'm a… er… a-ah…" Nagihiko slapped him on the back. "I'm a girl!" He shouted. Everyone started whispering things like "So I was right" or "I knew it" and finally "So _that's _why he acted so girly"

"Come on, you could at least act a little surprised!" He… er… she whined.

"Sorry babe, but it was just too obvious." Kukai pulled Tadase into a tight hug from the back. The garden went dead silent. Ikuto's chuckle broke the silence.

"Babe?" Kairi asked and raised an eyebrow.

"W-well, Kukai-kun and I are d-dating." She blushed. Kukai kissed her full on the lips… but they were both still in boys clothes, so their jaws pretty much unhinged this time and the charas fell on the ground.

"Hi, floor! Make me a sammich!" Kusu-kusu giggled and started spinning around. She had been watching too much Invader Zim again.

"Okay… while they're doing… that, I guess it's time for my confession." He took a deep breath and spoke again. "I'm actually Nadeshiko. I had to dress up as a girl to learn dance, like all the other males in my family." The only people who looked shocked were Yaya, Utau, and Ikuto.

"A-Amu-chan? Did you already know?" He asked, surprised.

"Please, even _I'm _not that dense." Her 'cool and spicy' character took over. "I mean, she was my best friend and I lo-" She stopped mid sentence. _'Oh my God! I almost confessed my love to him! Think fast, Amu!' _Her mind shouted. "oh, look at them, don't they make such a cute couple? I want to see Tadase in girls clothes again. What do you think her color is? It has to be something light. I wonder what she looks like in casual girls clothes. We've only seen her in the school uniform." Ikuto covered her mouth and bent down close to her ear.

"You, know that was a sad attempt at changing the subject. And we all know what you were going to say." He whispered. Amu bit his hand.

"Sh-shut up." She stuttered. Nagihiko whistled to get everybody's attention.

"Alright, we didn't call you here just to tell you our secret identities-"

"Nagi makes it sound like Tadase-chi and Nagi are superheroes or spies!" Yaya shouted, interrupting Nagihiko.

"Yeah, I know. Back to the point, we came for a reunion, so I think we should play a game or something."

"Oh yes, a game. How about a rousing game of hide-and-seek?" Ikuto sarcastically suggested.

"As exciting as that sounds, I was thinking more along the lines of spin the bottle truth or dare." He responded.

"Oh! Oh! Yaya likes that idea!" Yaya bounced in her seat excitedly.

"Yeah me too! Anyone else in?" Kukai asked. Everyone agreed except Ikuto, who was being stared at.

"Oh fine," He sighed. "If I have to, I guess I'll play." He said with the enthusiasm of a cardboard box.

"Um, we don't have a bottle." Kairi pointed out.

"Oh, right. Does anybody else have something we could use?" Nagihiko asked, looking at each of them.

"I have a spatula." Rima offered.

"That works! I'm not going to ask why you carry a spatula around because I'd get an answer and that would scare me." Nagihiko shuddered at the possibilities.

"Alright! Everyone to the table so we can play spin the spatula!" Kukai led them up to the table.(A/n: I played that about an hour before writing this XD)

"So who wants to go first?" Amu asked.

"I guess I should, I proposed the game." Nagihiko volunteered. He spun the spatula and it landed on Utau. "So, Utau, truth or dare?" Nagihiko asked.

"Truth."

"Okay, then what do you find attractive in the opposite sex?" He asked, knowing what the answer would be.

"Nothing" She whispered, squirming.

"Pardon, I didn't quite hear that." Nagihiko smirked.

"Nothing, I like girls!" She said louder as her face turned an impressive shade of red.

"Hmm? Is that so? Then prove it. Kiss Rima." Ikuto joined in on the teasing.

"What?!" Rima and Utau screamed in unison while the others watched in amusement.

"You heard him, kiss her." Amu gave Ikuto and Nagihiko a knowing look.

"F-fine." Utau stuttered. She turned towards Rima, leaned in, and brushed her lips against the younger girl's. They both pulled back, blushing an intense red.

"M-my turn." Utau said weakly. This time, Ikuto was the target of the spatula.

"T-truth or dare?" Utau stuttered, still a little woozy from the kiss.

"Dare" He challenged.

"Stand on your head and confess your love to Amu for a whole minute." She smirked triumphantly. While Ikuto groaned.

"I told you already, I'm not in love with her anymore." And here comes the infamous dropping jaws. He covered his mouth as soon as he realized what he said.

"I'll just go over here and do that thing now." He mumbled before flipping over so his hands and head were on the ground. Then, to everyone's surprise, he started singing.

**Within You**

**David Bowie (Labyrinth Soundtrack, link on my profile)**

"_How you turned my world, you precious thing_

_You starve and near exhaust me_

_Everything I've done, I've done for you_

_I move the stars for no one_

_You've run so long_

_You've run so far_

_Your eyes can be so cruel_

_Just as I an be so cruel_

_Though I do believe in you_

_Yes, I do_

_Live without the sunlight_

_Love without your heartbeat_

_I, I can't live within you_

_I can't live within you_

_I, I can't live within you"_

With that, his minute was up. Everyone laughed at him.

"Labyrinth, Ikuto? Do you have a David Bowie obsession or something?" Amu teased.

"You know, I've always wondered why that movie wasn't rated at least PG-13, because the main character seems to be The Goblin King's crotch." Utau commented, laughing

"You're right. Hey, what's your favorite line?" Amu asked.

"Oh! Mine is 'Your mother is a fraggin' aardvark!'" Yaya laughed.

"My favorite was 'Nothing? Nothing?! Nothing Tra La La?!'" Kukai said in his best Goblin king voice.

Amu and Rima looked at each other. They've had this conversation so many times. Amu stood up and walked over to Rima, grabbing her collar.

"You remind me of the babe" She said in a clipped English accent

"What babe?" Rima asked in a goblin voice.

"The babe with the power"

"What power?"

"The power of voodoo"

"Who do?"

"You do"

"Do what?"

"Remind me of the babe." Amu released Rima's shirt and sat down in her chair. Everyone laughed at their little performance.

"W-what was that?" Kukai asked, wiping tears from his eyes.

"We watch that movie every Saturday and act out our favorite scenes. Amu's usually Jareth, but sometimes she's Ludo." Rima explained.

"As fun as that was, let's get back to the game." Ikuto said as he sat down and spun the spatula. It landed on Amu. Ikuto gave her a wicked grin; she gulped.

"Truth or dare?" He asked slyly.

"Truth"

"Hmm, what should I ask? Oh yeah, name all of the crushes you've had in order from who you liked the least to most." His grin widened as Amu stiffened.

"You're going to force it out of me, so I guess I should get it over with." She sighed then took a deep breath. "KAIRI KUKAI TADASE IKUTO NAGIHIKO" She said in a weird voice that was somewhere between a scream and a squawk. Her face was so red that tomatoes around the world were fearing for their career. All of the boys-and Tadase's- faces were red too, as they had all had a crush on her at one point. Well, Tadase hadn't, but she felt bad for unintentionally turning a girl bisexual.

"Amu's a she-player" Miki said flatly. The other girls and some of the guys in the room nodded in agreement. Amu had to resist the urge to say _'don't hate the player, hate the game'_ but she had _some_ self control.

"It's not like I liked them all at the same time." Amu defended.

"Okay, then can you please explain to us?" Ikuto asked.

"Fine." Amu rolled her eyes. "I liked Tadase when I first transferred to Seiyo, and I liked him…her… for about six months. In that six months, I developed a crush on Kukai, because he's athletic, outgoing, and handsome, but that went away in about a week. Then I started liking Kairi because he was cool and brave. Oh, I forgot to mention Ikuto. At first I loathed him with every cell in my body, but then I started to see another side of him that I kind of fell in love with. But, I stopped liking Tadase about a week before she confessed to me… wait, why did you confess to me?" Amu asked.

"Oh, I didn't want anybody to find out my secret so I thought I should get a girlfriend." He answered as if it was nothing.

"Oh, thanks. You're lucky I didn't like you anymore, that really would have hurt me. Idiot."

"Sorry. I didn't think it through."

"We're straying from the subject." Ikuto tapped his foot impatiently.

"Fine." Amu grumbled. "What else do you want to know?"

"You haven't said a word about Nagihiko, or why you fell out of love with me and Tadase."

"Right. Well, about Nagihiko. I kind of like him when I first met him, the day 'Nadeshiko' left, so even while he was gone, I had feelings for him hidden in the back of my mind. And the reason I fell out of love with Tadase is because she was too girly, and my feelings for you and Nagihiko were a lot stronger, so it just kind of happened. I fell out of love with you because you're older, I thought you couldn't ever return my feelings, you're too damn perverted, and I had stronger feelings for Nagihiko." Amu flopped back in her chair, seemingly dead.

"Amu's soul has left the building. I repeat, Amu's soul has left the building." Kukai said, earning giggles from almost everyone around the table.

"Can we draw on Amu-chi?!" Yaya asked excitedly.

"No, then it would be impossible to talk to her with a straight face." Nagihiko said.

"Oh, is Nagi planning a love-love confession?" Utau asked mischievously.

"N-no! Maybe… yes…" He replied sheepishly.

"AAAWWW!" All of the females in the garden melted at how cute that was. Well, all but Amu, but unconscious girls can't melt.

"Then maybe you should wake her up? A kiss from the prince always works." Kukai nudged Nagihiko with his elbow and winked. But before Nagihiko could even _think _of kissing Amu, a shriek came from her direction.

"Why the hell did you pour water on me, Kairi?!" She fumed.

"Sorry, I slipped." He smirked at Nagihiko and Kukai.

"Hey Amu, you still didn't finish telling us about Nagihiko." Ikuto pointed out.

"O-oh yeah…" She steadied herself in the chair and stared at a vase of flowers as if she was trying to burn a hole through it. "Well, I told you that I kind of held on to the feelings for him, and when he came back they burst out and things got all complicated because I was suddenly in love with three people. But then my feelings for Tadase and Ikuto faded…" She trailed off.

"So you fell out of love with Me and Tadase, so when did you stop loving Nagihiko?" He grinned widely as her face grew the darkest red he had seen. Those poor tomatoes, Amu's always giving them a run for their money.

"I-I didn't" she said, a little louder than a whisper.

"Hmm, I'm not sure I heard you right. Did you say in Paris?" Ikuto asked. Amu's was now looking at the vase so hard that it was sure to burst under the pressure. "And what's so interesting about that vase?" He added.

"I said I didn't. And I like the color of the vase." Amu replied loud and clear this time.

"Um, Hinamori-san, I'm not sure if you've noticed this, but the vase is completely see through. It's clear glass." Tadase commented, slightly worried about Amu's mental health and the vases life.

"Oh really? I thought it was green…" Amu said

"No, those are the stems." Tadase replied.

"So you're in love?' Ikuto asked, back on the original topic.

"With the stems? No. Are you stupid?" Amu was truly puzzled. Why would she love flower stems?

"Not the stems you idiot, Nagihiko." Ikuto pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Amu blushed a shade of red that could only be described as bloody red lipstick.

"Ah…um… well…er… Fine, I give up," She turned to Nagihiko, "I'm in love with you, Nagihiko." Her hands went up to her face to hide the blush that covered every inch of it, but Nagihiko caught her wrists half way. When she looked up, he was smiling the brightest smile ever. He leaned in a little closer, then whispered in her ear, "I love you too, Amu-chan" Then pecked her on the cheek. Everybody 'awwed' the new couple, then went back to the game.

The highlights were: Ikuto wearing a skirt, Rima confessing her love for Utau (who felt the same way), Yaya and Kairi being handcuffed together for the rest of the game, Nagihiko licking whipped cream off Amu's nose, Tadase begging onii-tan (Kukai) for a cookie on her hands and knees, Amu writing and reciting a poem about her love for yaoi, Utau pretending to be L from Death Note, and Kukai singing 'too sexy' by Right Said Fred.

Needless to say, Truth or dare was officially banned from the royal garden, but they decided to meet weekly to act stupid and do whatever they wanted. It was like a we're-bored-out-of-our-minds-so-we'll-goof-off-all-day club. They even had a password!

"So we all agree on the password?" Tadase asked. Everyone nodded in response.

"Okay, so every Saturday between noon and five, we come here, knock on the door and say the password. Umm, what was it again?" Everyone sweatdropped. Tadase had forgotten it eight times already.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." They all chanted. He obviously didn't read enough Harry Potter.

* * *

**Soooo, what'd you think? Sorry if it's a little rushed. The lack of sleep and too much Monster is making me sick. bleh.  
well R&R, and you get a cookie (O wow, It just took me four tries to spell cookie, I'm going to bed)**

**Oh, and I might be making more chapters about the club's shenanigans. Please tell me in a review! Loves and hugs to everyone!  
**

**PLUR!  
**


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